Daddy Brain

"I’m just trying to think but my brain can’t think anymore."

That's what Ethan said to me this morning, and that's pretty much how I feel every day.

And the Oscar Goes To...

"Ethan, who do you think will win an Academy Award tonight?"

"You!"

Parent of Twins Revelation #4

There are, like, two of them.

And that means everything is twice as hard, and takes twice as long, and requires twice as much energy. (Or maybe twice isn't right -- three or four times is probably more accurate in our case because we also have a three-and-a-half-year-old son to boot, and he hasn't exactly warmed to the idea of a little bro and sis, even after ten months.)

So:

Not one diaper change but two.

Not one baby to give a bath to, but two.

Not one baby to (breast)feed, but two.

Not one baby to put down for naps and nighty-night, but two.

Not one baby to scoop up off the floor so that he/she doesn’t eat carpet or cat litter, but two.

Etc.

Random closing tidbit: Did I mention that the freaky Octo Mom lives in Whittier, CA, where I was born and grew up? No, I did not.

Ethan, Stating the Obvious...

"Daddy, robots can swim."

M. Ward and Ratatouille

One of the most important duties a parent has is to expose their children to good music. This is among the things I most fervently believe.

So I have taken it upon myself to begin my children's musical education. I say this while fully realizing they will probably rebel and like music that I deplore and this will in turn create a gulf between us that is vast and divisive and ultimately insurmountable.

But in the meantime I'm doing my best.

For example, recently I was trying to get Ethan into M. Ward.

"That's M. Ward," I told him. "He's a very talented singer-songwriter guy."

"That's not M. Ward," Ethan told me. "That's Ratatouille."

Actually, it was a pretty brilliant comparison. There is a bit of a Parsian/Left Bank/Django Reinhardt vibe in some of his music.

I was reminded of M. Ward because he has a new album out. It's called Hold Time. And for a limited time you can listen to it on NPR.

Zebras in the Blimp

"Daddy, do you know what?"

"What?"

"There were zebras in the blimp, and they pressed the wrong control button, and then it crashed."

Rejected Names for Stimulus Package

• Arousal Parcel

• Package o' Love

• Hot Injection

• Tumescent Surprise

• A Most Stimulating Economical Addition to Our Sagging, Shrugging, Shitty Economy

• Hope It Works This Time

El Diablo?

A little technology is a dangerous thing.

See what I mean?

New Story at Freight Stories

The ratio of recent postings definitely favors the familial over the
literary -- not surprising, given that I have an energetic, challenging and scary-smart three-and-a-half-year-old son and ten-month-old twins.

But today there's some writing news to report: I have a new story up at Freight Stories. It's called "Why We Came to Target at 9:58 on a Monday Night." Might be my longest title ever. And certainly the first to feature a corporate tie-in.

This is the fourth issue of Freight Stories, and editors Andrew Scott and Victoria Barrett have put together another superb collection of short fiction. I'm very happy to be a part of the issue.

Also got word today that the upcoming issue of Slice Magazine that will feature my short story "My Status" will also include an interview with Paul Auster. That made my day/week/month/year.

Rainy Saturday Morning

"Oh no! My basketball hoop got rain-ed on!"

"That's okay, Ethan. It's plastic. It won't rust."

"Grapes don't rust."

"That's true."

"Faces don't rust."

"That's true too."

Uncontrollable Blog Postings

Yesterday morning, on the drive to school, listening to Devo's "Uncontrollable Urges"...

Ethan: "I think they're singing about puppets."