Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Penis Sleeps

We went to the zoo last weekend. This would be the world famous San Diego Zoo. Family visiting, the holidays, etc.

Besides witnessing some overzealous Orangutan love and the $3.35 cup of coffee, the highlight was a conversation with my three-year-old son, Ethan.

We were walking back to the main entrance and stopped by the bathroom. He wasn’t exactly cooperating.

We headed into a stall, the familiar cajoling began.

"OK buddy. Let’s sit on the potty and go pee."

"I can't."

"You can’t?"

"I can’t go pee."

"Come on buddy. It’s a long drive back home. We just have to try. Just try to pee. No biggie. Just try."

"I can't."

"Look. We always do this. Before we leave somewhere we go potty, we go pee. It’s just what we do."

"But I can't. I can't go pee."

"You can't? You can't pee? Or you won't? Why not?"

"My penis is tired. It's sleeping."

Somehow I managed not to laugh. Imagining the other people in the bathroom hearing this prime material. Kids say the darndest things. It's true.

"Your penis is sleeping?"


"Well OK. Let's try to wake it up."

It? Him? Whatever.

I made some kind of vague abracadabra gesture in the general vicinity of his groin.

"Wake up! Wake up penis!"

But it was a no-go.

"It's still tired. It's still asleep. I can't go pee, Daddy."

"You can't? Your penis can't wake up?"

"No, it's tired. It's sleeping."

Mission aborted. We left the bathroom and kept walking.

But there was one last bathroom by the main exit. This time my wife tried.

When they emerged, my wife gave the thumb’s up. Success.

"What happened, buddy? Do you go?"

"Yes, I did. My penis woke up and I went pee."

"That’s great, buddy."

"Yes, it is."

Happy New Year!

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